The issue with these blogs is that it's hard not to only post the cute photos and the great things the kids do and accomplish. Well, we all know that kids make mistakes, fight with their siblings, get bad grades (maybe not all kids get bad grades), break the rules, etc. We have two rules in our household that we repeat to the kids all the time: Our jobs as parents are to keep them safe and teach them the rules. These rules pretty much apply to everything so they work well and the kids remember them and can apply them easily.
What I am getting at is that I'm going to try not to only brag about our kids in these blog posts but I'm going to combine a bit of the good, bad and ugly. Well, hopefully there is no 'ugly' but there are some not so good things sometimes and I want to remember these just as much as the good.
Recently, Terence was grounded. He was grounded for the first time ever. He's had many time-outs but never a real grounding where he's lost privileges for a set period of time. I can write this to all of you but please, if you decide to bring it up, keep in mind that he is very embarrassed about his mistake and does not want to talk about it (guess he feels guilty which is a good thing).
The grounding was caused by 2 major things that he decided to do in a small time period. The first was writing on the wall. There's a bit more detail to this story. Not only did he just write on the wall. He wrote 'M I A' on the white wall going up the stairs. I didn't see him do this but noticed the red marker one day and automatically assumed it was Mia who did this. She was with me at the time and I started to blame her. She started to cry and say she didn't do it but Mia often denies responsibility as her first reaction so I wasn't sure if she was just lying and trying to stay out of trouble. The thing is Mia has gotten in trouble before for 'graffiti' (as I call it) and she often signs her name (duh) as she loves writing Mia. I told her that if she was telling the truth then I believed her.
When T came home I asked him if he did it. Quite quickly he said 'yes' as his head drooped down and his face filled with embarrassment and shame. It sort of caught me off guard but I'm also always talking about honesty and how they will get in less trouble (in certain situations they get in no trouble) if they are honest with me. It took me a while to think of his punishment for this. It turned out I told him that he would have to pay to get it fixed and I was deducting the money from his account. Since he framed Mia, he'd have to pay her 500HUF from his account to her account. This hurt him more than the 'paying for the repairs'.
The next day when I got home from work, Erika was in near tears about their behavior. She was talking so fast (in Hungarian) that I didn't understand a word she said. I asked T to translate but his translation was in his favor and he left out a lot of vital details about his naughty behavior. To make a long story short, while Erika was preparing a craft for them to do, he grabbed Mia, convinced her to sneak out of the house with him. In their socks, they snuck out to the street and were chasing passing cars. It was about 5pm so there were more than usual, however, it's a side street that isn't too incredibly busy. When she discovered where they were and what they were doing she freaked out and had to go out and drag them back in. Long story short, we were all upset and disappointed with them. I felt bad for Erika as she was repeating to them over and over about how horrible it would be if something happened to them, but if it happened while they were in her care she'd get into lots and lots of trouble.... Terence and Mia were sent to their rooms with no dinner (I think this idea came from the 'Brady Bunch' or something). I didn't know what to do and was so upset with them. Mia went into her room and cried hysterically. Terence was more in shock about everyone's reaction and his unchanged facial expressions bothered me the most. Honestly, I think he was just trying to keep from crying. I went up and had a stern talking with him about this ridiculous stunt he pulled and how it was unacceptable, dangerous, reckless, etc. He shouldn't put his sisters in harms way nor himself. He should also assume that they cannot always perform the same 'stunts' as he can and if one of them tripped or fell or ... well, you know where I went with this conversation.
Anyhow, his grounding was 1 week of no video games. He has 2 - Nintendo DS (a handheld device) and a Playstation (connected to the TV). Our family has a Wii system that is connected to our main family TV. He was grouned off of all of these for a week. And, he counted down the days, hours and minutes. During the week when he is in school, he almost never even touches his video games but it's on the weekends that he sometimes likes to play. I think it was more the idea of not even having it as an option that got to him the most. The week ended on the day Curt came home from Chicago and Terence made sure to get his fill on this day. It was not easy and now I know what it means when a parent says, this is harder for me than it is for you.
Sorry for the long story but I wanted to document this event in his life. I'm sure it's the first of many groundings. However, if I were to predict, I would imagine it will be Mia who breaks the rules most frequently. Just a prediction. I may end up eating my words... I hope...
Since then he has been a great kid. While Curt was away he was a real gentleman and helped me a lot with cooking, cleaning up, looking after his sisters, household chores (he has his own every week but helped me with others), carrying in groceries and bringing in logs and building fires every night.
Here are a few photos of my big boy. He's 7 years old and wearing 10 year old clothes. We call him our giraffe... he's sooo tall!
My beautiful hydrangeas. The one on the right turns this autumn color at this time of year. I love it. In the summer it is more purple.
